jaytwice on Xanga

Weblog

What the hell

Its been such a long time since i been on here, but here goes nothing.
So much stuff has changed, and yet I feel the same. I have been through so much these last couple of months, but deep within its still the same jay. The same jay that loves you, comforts you, and that will be down for you to the end. The same clumsy, funny, patient jay sits and longs for you embrace. Who waits by the phone waiting to hear you voice. Even thought most of my smiles have been replaced with tears, i'm still me. Do you know why this is? This is because i can only be the person that i am. This person who i am, Is madly in love with you. This person, she wants to be for you, around you, about you. This person, she wants to be yours. But this she can not accomplish. There is only one obstacle for her. Your fear. You push her away, and this jay is not as strong as she use to be. Her small weary frame is getting to tired and weak to put up the fight. But she is too stubborn to give up. So what does she do? She reaches out for support. This supports, however, wants more than she is willing to give. Now she is stuck in a situation where the wrong choice will make her so unhappy. Then you will be hurt, and she will be hurt.
So what the hell.

Is it me or does life fucken suck

Is has been such along time since I been on here. I don't really know what to talk about. Right now life is pretty shitty. My birth is coming up you know the Big 21, but some how I don't feel like celebrating. I feel tired, I feel hurt,and I just feel alone. Oh yeah me and B are hitting the three year mark, but i don't know if i can celebrate that either. Maybe my peeps were right. Maybe they weren't being hateful. Maybe they were just looking out for me. You know maybe they could see something that i couldn't, but the problem is i still don't. I tried so hard not to let him get to close to me, but over the years my guard has fallen and i have fallen so much in love.You know what fuck this... Life Fucken sucks so bad... some time the best thing to is slip into nothingness. That way you cant be hurt. Oh and this is for you B. I have alot of questions that need to be answered. You know how to reach me, and i dont want you to drop any hints or clues, i want you to be a grown ass man and tell me straight up.

whatever

Has anyone ever told you that life fucking sucks. Well they know what they are talking about. Yo i just feel like geeting trashed right know. It is a bitch not being 21. Well im going to hit some people up,and probably study maby i can do that right for a change. Im fucking out.

Ps.im sporting the shirt that B got me

OOOOh Really

So you want me to leave him?

Is that really true?

Bitch I will leave him when I’m ready to

When I think we’re through

Tell that to your friend and your whole crew

Me stupid, ooooh bitch who

I’m not the one sticking my nose where I’m nose suppose to

So bitch your opinions

You can keep them to you

Because I don’t care, And Its B you and your want to pursue

I’m his heart and he is my boo

And your attempts, the feeble few

Let them try to break trough

Because you cant do what I do

And that’s really true

And this bitch aunt nothing new

©jjohnemotions